You can trust me
by GabrielaF6
Summary: After City of Heavenly Fire and before the Shadowhunter Academy. Isabelle is trying to help Simon get his memories back.


Isabelle Lightwood woke up in the dark, confused. Her body tensed immediately, her fists clenched, her eyes searched her whole room for some threat. She had heard a noise. What was that? She checked her necklace. It wasn't glowing red. She relaxed, but just a little.

The sound came again. A knocking on the door. She pushed the sheets away and got up, reaching for her whip, placed on top of her dresser. She opened the door and gasped. For one second, she was confused. How had Simon gotten in the Institute? Then, she remembered. And everything hurt again.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered. Maybe he got lost. She knew that it wasn't Alzheimer. He had lost his memories once and that was it. He needed to make new memories. Her guts twisted. He wasn't going to lose his memories every day. Still, only one time and they had lost everything. Maybe he had forgotten his house address.

He looked as confused as her, and Isabelle fought the urge to hug him. That'd push him away. And she was tired of staying away from him. Even if it was only until he recovered.

"I… I…" Simon shook his head. "Forget it. I shouldn't be here." He started to turn away, but Isabelle rushed, without thinking, and grabbed his hand.

"No, stay." The anguish on his face made a place behind her eyes hurt. The beginning of a headache. "It's the least you can do now that you woke me up", she joked. That brought a tiny smile to his lips. She smiled back and forced herself to not stare at his mouth.

He went inside her room and she closed the door. He now looked awkward and uncomfortable standing beside her bed, when once this place was their safe zone. She pushed the memory aside. If only she could've forgot too. It seemed cruel that there was only one person left to carry around a remembrance made for two. It was a similar feeling to when Max had died. It seemed nasty that she and Alec were left behind to mourn their little brother.

"You can sit down", she indicated the bed with the messy sheets. She sat on the chair near the bookshelf. They were a room apart. In the darkness of 4 a.m., she could barely see his face. Maybe that was better.

"I just… I was walking around."

Isabelle raised an eyebrow, even if he couldn't see it.

"At this hour?"

He shrugged.

"I just feel… suffocated, sometimes. And I have to take a deep breath and walk around."

Isabelle knew how he felt. If only he could feel enough… friendly towards her so they could talk about it.

"I'm sleeping sometimes, and a weird dream comes. Most of times I know it's a dream, but sometimes they feel so real I think it's a flash of memory. It confuses me a lot. Like, I know dreams are meant to be weird, but how much weird is too weird?"

Isabelle laughed, then a single tear crossed her cheek. She cleaned it with the back of her hand before he could see it. He sounded so much like the old Simon, her Simon.

"I'm sorry, I probably sound like a crazy right now." Oh no. She could sense him closing his mind so she wouldn't reach it. That wasn't what she wanted. She had made a mistake and now everything she didn't want to happen was happening.

"You don't", she guaranteed.

"I mean, I know vampires, demons, werewolves and warlocks exist. But what if I'm dreaming about a faerie? Every normal person… mundane, it's how you guys call it, right?… would know that it's a dream, but I don't know if I'm dreaming or if I'm remembering."

"Fairies are real." It was the only thing Isabelle could think to say.

"Right. What else? I need to know. Does zombies exist too?"

"Only down south."

"And what about unico-"

Isabelle knew she could hear him talking forever, but she also knew this was a dangerous game for her heart to play. After everything she had gone through, her shell was harder to break than ever.

"Simon, why don't we do this: every time you think you have a new memory, no matter the time or the place, you come here and we talk? I can help you to distinguish what's real or not." Because I'm in most of these recollections, she thought.

He stayed quiet for a long time, thinking.

" **You can trust me.** "

Slowly he nodded.

"Okay. I think this may work."

Isabelle was relieved. For a second she was worried he would refuse. She wasn't being fair with herself – it was wrong and hurtful to get involved with someone that could be a stranger. But it was hard to tell herself that he wasn't her boyfriend anymore.

"So, what did you remember tonight?" She wasn't ready for the answer. She felt it involved her, otherwise he wouldn't come to the Institute.

"I remembered… one time… well, this is a little bit unusual for me, but… I think we were in bed, and I was telling you something about Star Wars? I mean, the fact that we were together is the thing that stands out most to me. Girls like you don't date guys like me, but the part where I was talking about Star Wars seemed so accurate I got confused and you probably think I'm a creepy right now, I'm sorry, I should go…"

He got up abruptly. Isabelle's heart started pounding. He remembered. She almost didn't believe him. Maybe Clary had told him that and he was just picturing it… But no, it was impossible. They were the only ones in the room. She couldn't let him go now.

"Simon, it's true. This actually happened. Please stay", she asked quickly, trying to stop him to reach the door.

He stood still, without facing her. He was surprised, she could tell.

"We… were boyfriend and girlfriend", she explained. It was time. She and Clary had agreed that this was something too big to tell him too soon, but now it was the perfect time. "You always joked that I had a lot of boyfriends, but there was only you. You were the most special guy I've ever met."

His breathing was heavy. She was afraid she had scared him away. Please, Raziel, don't let him go again.

"'I was'?" he finally said. "I hope I don't have any saved memory of me being an asshole to you that's going to surface at any minute or I'll probably jump off the Bayonne Bridge. Because if I did something to hurt you, I'm the dumbest man on Earth."

"Simon, it wasn't your fault. I know Clary probably told you what happened thousands of times, but you were - you are - the bravest person I've ever seen."

There was a pause, and then she said: "And that means a lot considering my line of work."

Simon laughed and turned around to face her. Isabelle was holding back her tears, but he wasn't.

"Well, thanks, Izzy." Her hand trembled. "I have kept you awake for too long. I should go now."

"You don't have to. If you don't want", she added quickly. "I mean, it's too late - or too early - and you still don't have any training to protect yourself…" She sighed and started again. "You're not a stranger to me, Simon, and I hope that someday I won't be a stranger to you too."

He agreed. She held his hand and lay his body down on bed. Then she lay by his side and placed the sheets on top of them. She curled on his chest. He placed a hand on her arm, so gently she barely felt it.  
Everything felt right about that moment

"I always ask myself how Star Wars ended."

"Well, then we should start from where I left off."


End file.
